Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
