Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
