i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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