you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
