My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
