I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
