I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
