the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
