fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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