went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he fucked my hip out of place.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
