Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
