can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
