I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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