Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
