I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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