so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
