yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
worst night to have a conscience
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
