38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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