waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
