U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
