shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I love black thongs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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