Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What happened to fro yo and sex?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
