dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
