Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
