Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize