Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
