either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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