sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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