He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
