Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
