Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
