No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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