he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I had to cum in my sink.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
