Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
they're like a gay fantastic four
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
