i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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