She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
