I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
