ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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