just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
