he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
