I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
