whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I enjoy the company of your penis
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
