the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
