you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
