There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
