I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
