No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
