Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
