help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
