Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
